Start Your Day With Negativity
It’s time to face your negative emotions head-on.
Unaddressed negative emotions are like hairs accumulating in the drain. You know on one level that if the hairs keep going down the drain, the drain will get clogged. But, on another level, you underestimate the cumulative effect of a few strands making their way down the drain.
The next thing you know, you’re standing in a pool of water every time you shower. You end up standing in your own dirt.
Whether you pull the hair out with your hands, use a vacuum, use a chemical drain cleaner, or call a plumber, you have to get the hair out of the drain.
Over the years, we’ve encountered many negative experiences in life. It could’ve been a discouraging teacher, dismissive parent, or jealous friend. That is the nature of being human — everything isn’t going to be rainbows and butterflies.
We get desensitized to the comments. We justify their words: they didn’t mean it that way, they are going through something, that’s how they’ve always been.
We might be angry, upset, hurt, frustrated, sad from that negative experience. Yet, we ignore that feeling, push it away.
The emotions pile up but hide. Then, the volcano erupts. The goo comes out, and you are standing in your negative emotions.
Are you going to pull out those emotions and take a look? Or are you going to continue standing in a pile of shit?
How do you get out of the pile of shit?
Accept your emotions.
Your emotions are your inner guidance system. Emotions act as messengers.
A study showed that humans are very fearful of parasites, snakes, and spiders. You already innately knew that, though.
When I lived in Denver, everyone could not stop talking about the victorious Colorado trail runner who killed a mountain lion by suffocating the lion with his bare hands. A lion is an apex predator, so we are rightfully wary of their presence.
We understand when someone is afraid of a spider or lion. We nod our heads in agreement. Fear is necessary to respond to danger. Not acknowledging that fear would be deadly.
Yet, when we encounter fear in our everyday lives, we brush it off.
Trust your intuition when something seems off.
You have a second brain, the enteric nervous system (ENS), in your gut. The ENS is two layers of over 100 million nerve cells lining your gastrointestinal tract.
Trust your gut — it’s smart.
Do not suppress your emotions.
Suppressing emotions increases your risk of premature death by 30% and cancer by 70%. And, bottling up emotions can make people more aggressive.
If you keep pushing your emotions to the side, you might explode later. A study suggested that negative emotions from daily stressors like an argument or problem at home or work predicted psychological distress and self-reported emotional disorder ten years later.
Accept your emotions now, or deal with repercussions later.
Do one uncomfortable thing a day.
“Do one thing every day that scares you. Those small things that make us uncomfortable help us build courage to do the work we do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
According to Wim Hof, the body knows how to adapt to any stressful situation. However, in modern times, we live too comfortable lives. The Wim Hof Method uses cold therapy, meditation, and breathing techniques to help manage positive stress.
Positive stressors are healthy for your body, but only for a short duration. Positive stressors empower you by increasing your motivation, inspiration, confidence, independence, optimism, and body strength.
By incorporating positive stressors in your daily life, you will expand your comfort zone. For this reason, Wim Hof suggests taking a cold shower or ice bath every day, but you can also learn how to do something new every day. Both are uncomfortable.
Wim can keep his body temperature up when exposed to the cold. In 2011, Radboud University conducted a study showing that Wim influenced his autonomic nervous system, which is the primary system that controls the fight-or-flight response.
In 2014, Radboud University injected 12 Wim Hof Method practitioners with an endotoxin. All could control their immune response and sympathetic nervous system, which prepares the body for stressful situations. Anti-inflammatories mediators were 200% higher, while pro-inflammatories mediators were 50% lower.
You not only grow when you push yourself out of your comfort zone, but you get healthier.
I pushed myself out of my comfort zone: I faced my fear of rats.
I’ve always been scared of rats. Rats eat your leftovers, scurry over your belongings, and are known to carry disease. So when I went to a college party, and my friend had a pet rat, I was noticeably hesitant about interacting with the rat.
After several drinks and an open heart, I played with the rat. The rat crawled all over me, running over my body like it was a maze. At first, feeling the rat’s claws felt uncomfortable. With time, I became more comfortable — the rat wasn’t going to hurt me. I even felt like a made a new friend like in Ratatouille.
Start your day with negativity.
Like the Wim Hof Method, I’ve started a practice to face discomfort.
Typically when I wake up, my mind is like a blank slate — it’s a fresh new day.
After brushing my teeth, I make a cup of tea and sit on my balcony. I like to go outside for this practice so that I have a better view of nature.
I let my mind wander to any of my previous negative experiences. I focus my thoughts on my negative emotions.
I’m embarrassed that I got negative feedback on the project I’ve been working on for months. I work so hard, but nothing is ever good enough. I’m never good enough.
I’m upset that he hasn’t texted me back. I thought he cared about me. No one cares about me.
I’m mad at myself for eating cheesecake and cookies. I don’t have any self-control. I can’t trust myself to follow through with anything.
I let myself truly feel these emotions. It feels like a knot in my heart space or like low-level anxiety.
As I’m feeling all of these negative emotions, nature reminds me that the world is chaotic. That negative feelings are normal. That there is no reason to hold those negative feelings in my body. I need to face those feelings.
Notice the feelings and understand their messages. Negative emotions are signals that we need to make a change. Take the lesson and leave the emotion.
You already learned your lesson — you soaked up the nutrients. But now your body is carrying around garbage. Take out the trash every day, or your body will start to stink from rot.
You would think that it’s easy to spiral out of control if you think about everything negative in your life.
But, nature heals. Nature decreases stress, anxiety, rumination (dwelling on negative aspects of oneself), and negative affect.
When you look at the trees and see their branches going in every direction, you realize it’s okay to feel emotions.
The birds fly by and chirp. It’s time to let those feelings go.
“Facing it, always facing it, that’s the way to get through. Face it.” — Conrad Joseph
You will find that the next day you do this exercise that your heart hurts less.
By facing your negative feelings, not denying them, you can let them go and feel free.
Let’s make it simple:
- Feel your negative emotions.
- Accept your negative emotions.
- Expand your comfort zone.
- Take your lesson.
- Let go of your negative emotions.
